As soon as the hair hit the floor yesterday I immediately felt lighter. Couldn’t come at a better time as the most transformative year of my life comes to a close and I look ahead to ‘22.

There’s a voice in my head that tells me to stop spamming my social media platforms with baby photos.That voice says “This feed is for your business, stupid girl. No one cares about your baby.” (It’s mean, I know. Most bullies in our minds are, right?) Here is what’s true:

Time is passing both gradually and suddenly. There is more of everything: more back pain, more fatigue, more emotions, more kicks from this little dude. But also more love and anticipation. It’s the craziest mix of feelings. The terrible excitement.

Ask Brandon and those closest to me - I have a default way of stepping in and helping others, and often struggle with allowing others to take care of me without me doing something for them in return. Nothing like being pregnant to force you to work on your receiving-without-conditions muscle.

It all matters. Every failed attempt, flopped idea, and scraped knee. Every panic attack, trashed concept, and trek back to the drawing board. It’s in these moments we discover what we’re truly made of.

I’m redefining what it means to be responsible. I realized that $50 and an hour of pampering was going to pay me back ten-fold, which meant it was going to be better for everyone in my path. Yes, I already knew this. I preach about this on the regular. But when you’re inside that fear-based, not-enough story, it’s hard to see the forest through the trees.

Continuing in this passenger-seat friendship pattern, pouring into others, eventually left me bitter. Resentful. “What am I getting out of this? I shouldn’t have to ask my friends to be interested in me.” I’d let these feelings eat at me, and then I’d let the friendships die because continuing them felt disingenuous. Fake. Texts to get together set me off into a rage-filled deluge of “they” and “shoulds” and frustration. Audience or not, now who was being the drama queen?

I have found a special substance that, if you cover yourself with it consistently, will drastically change your body and, more importantly, your mood. It’s a bit of an artisan blend…uniquely made in conjunction with the individual it is meant to serve. Thought, fair warning…it may smell a little, and burn your eyes if you’re not careful. So…do you want to know what it is?

On the surface, everything seems the same.  Underneath, it is all so different.

I am the strong woman I am because of the strong women who raised me.