Old Ways, New Doors
Dear Strong Woman,
If we look too long at a closed door we won’t see the one that has been opened for us.
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Greetings from the other side of a wonderful summer and brief stint of entrepreneurial burnout!
Who said to launch a book and completely rebrand my business while navigating first time parenthood with a six month old? No one. But it wasn’t **what** I did that knocked the wind out of me - it was **how** I did it. A new version of me (that I’m still figuring out) took on an old-me way of doing something. It didn’t align, but I muscled through anyway. And it took it’s toll.
That’s why as soon as I got through (hear the word choice there?) my book signing in May, I checked out.
Uninspired by all things entrepreneurial, I briefly considered closing up shop all-together thinking, “Maybe this isn’t for me anymore. Maybe I’ve had a good run with it.” With the help of my coach, I got to see that this thought was less about my experience coaching (I love love love working with my clients) and more about how I was running my business. Again, more of that what-vs-how stuff happening.
With that shift in perspective, I got present to some re-invention in my business. Stuff that was actually already happening that I really just had to allow and accept. Here is what’s going on:
I stopped beating myself up for fully embracing and enjoying the administrative work I do - a job I had before going full time coach and one I stepped back into post maternity leave. I used to think staying in/returning to this job was an upper limit problem (Big Leap, anyone?), but then I’d feel super conflicted because it’s brought nothing but blessings to my life. I get to do some nerdy spreadsheet stuff that is weirdly fun for me, but more so…I work with some awesome people who value me and what I bring to the table. So I stopped looking for what was wrong with me for staying in this job and instead flipped the script to what was so right.
Guess what?! I’ve found some amazing career balance. This role has me working a different part of my brain than coaching, which keeps me fresh. The minute my logistical side is spent, I get to tap into some heart-centered coaching work. It also allows me to be unattached to working with clients as I don’t need to be hired to put food on the table. I don’t show up from scarcity-minded place because I have other income that helps me pay the bills. In fact, this has resulted in me only working with clients I absolutely love and who are game for doing the work. It makes me feel like I’ve cracked some secret code of something, and highly encourage all my fellow entrepreneurs to consider creating something similar for themselves. TL:DR - I am as multi-faceted as they come with a gazillion amazing skills, all of which are allowed to show up in the world.
I’ve also allowed myself to let go of any “shoulds” around social media and having an online presence. As a writer and creative person by nature, I’ve always viewed social media as a form of creative self-expression. (It was just icing on the cake when someone would express an interested in coaching based on something I shared.) But writing takes more time and energy now. For one, Mom Brain is most definitely a thing! I can’t tell you how many times I’m in the middle of talking to someone and can’t spit out the most simplest of words and phrases. Of course there is a little postpartum/pandemic body image gunk in there, but honestly - it’s felt so good being off the grid. I’ve relearned how to do some things, asking myself “How would I do this if social media didn’t exist?” With writing, I’m a lot more raw as I’m not always writing for an audience now - just me. I’ve also allowed myself to embrace doing my hair and putting on a little makeup (I love a good winged eyeliner!) just because it makes me feel good and refreshed. And while I no longer do this to take photos for social media, sometimes it feels good to take a selfie to acknowledge that I’m feeling myself a little. Those moments as a new momma feel few and far between.
All of these little victories are things old me would shared out loud with everyone, but new me feels differently. My fears about stepping back from being an in-process open book told me a lot of lies about what people must now think of me. Then yesterday, after over 3 months of posting only a handful of baby photos, a friend sent me a link to a video that reminded her of me, acknowledging the little things I do to try to make the world a better place. This tells me I’ve made an impact in ways I haven’t considered - ways that are everlasting - ways that aren’t lessened by a lack of inspirational social media content. TL:DR - Fear is a GD liar and we are more awesome than we give ourselves credit for.
You know what else has happened since I stepped back from social? I got hired more, three new amazing humans last month alone. None of them came from social media either; they were all referrals from previous clients. This allowed me to acknowledge myself for the work I put into building my practice over the years that has me now entering the elusive and oh-so coveted business-by-referral stage of running a business. And while it feels weird to sit back and see things just happen, I’m starting to set down the idea that success only comes from hustle and grind and stressing the F out about things. TL:DR - Be patient, and allow success to be easy. It doesn’t mean you got lucky. It means you’re doing what you’ve been created to do. (I mean really, why would God create us to do something only to have us suffer through it?)
So that’s a glimpse of some of the new mindset I’m embracing on the professional side of things. (Even more happening personally that I’ll share at a later date.) I’m still me, just with more boundaries. More intention. Yes, still a fair amount of leopard print.
Appropriately so, it alllll comes back down to making your own rules (damn, someone should write a book on that) and doing what you want. Like my little boy who I caught wearing halloween PJs while he read ’Twas the Night Before Christmas. Maybe he picked up on a thing or two during the book creation process!
I’ll close with this - I know there’s a saying about how old ways won’t open new doors, but embracing my old ways through that book launch actually did open some new doors for me. Let this be a reminder that on the other side of a breakdown is always a breakthrough…if you choose to see it.
