Dear Strong Woman,
Love is a four-legged word.
I broke down crying while sitting on the floor folding laundry last night. What? Not your idea of an exciting Saturday evening?
I went to grab a shirt to fold and found my Muzz laying on top of it. It’s a scene that’s frequented the past almost nine years now. Different clothes. Different floors. Same snoring pup making sure he’s right next to me.
I got present to how much we’ve been through in that time. New apartments, breakups, job changes, death. No matter the roller coaster or roller coaster of emotion, this furball has been my constant. I became overwhelmed with gratitude, which is when the tears came in.
We’ve been talking about relationships in my coach training and it’s hit me how alone I feel at times. It’s hit me harder how much I perpetuate that. I’ve cut out family, friends, and previous colleagues from my life in an effort to protect my energy, with this conspicuous undertone of something being wrong with them. But as this pattern has continued to repeat itself over the years, I can’t deny the common denominator: me.
Being responsible and putting down the victim-mentality means it’s time for a gut check. I’ve been cutting others out to protect my energy, but at the root it’s because I couldn’t deal with the heartbreak of repeated rejection. I let it make me feel less than, and eventually I shrink smaller and smaller until I stop showing up all together.
This pup of mine doesn’t follow my lead. He doesn’t care if I’m late to feed him or haven’t walked him enough or am behind on his belly rub quota. He shows up with that same wagging tail every damn time and brings nothing but love.
I’ve practicing embodying his essence when I’m in the face of heartbreak, bringing a wagging tail (metaphorically) in place of a wagging finger. Not because I’m looking to fix something about the people I care about, but because I’m choosing to stand for what could be by showing up as love and love alone. That doesn’t mean loved ones will be ready to consider my point of view on things as anything other than ridiculous, childish, a threat, etc. It doesn’t mean my plea for a deeper conversation will be well-received or even heard. It doesn’t mean I’ll feel less heartbreak.
It means I’m staying on the court when I want to tap out. It means I’m showing up as me on full blast with less and less need for validation from others. It means I’m remaining in the essence of who I am rather than letting fear drive my decisions and take me out of the game.
When I do this, when I choose from love…I know there’s a hell of a lot more pawsibility present. I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know there’s still a chance of something happening because I’m keeping that door open rather than slamming it shut.
Consider this in your own life. In which relationships have you stopped showing up with a wagging tail, and done so because of something they need to do differently? What could be possible if you came from love each and every time? What impact would this have on you, on others, and on the world at large?
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