Dear Strong Woman,
Happiness is the highest level of success.
I have been learning that there is a very fine line where doing things in the name of self-care can actually negate self-care. I’ve also been learning that, as much as I go through seasons with my own health journey, the self-care necessary around that changes, too.
I am in a season change.
The freedom that came with the structure of following a program was starting to feel…suffocating. I started procrastinating on workouts, only to only do half of it when I finally pushed play. I wasn’t feeling it. I hadn’t been for a while. Things felt…off. I needed…space.
This close to the end of a program and I can’t push it through to the end? I lead a group of women in practicing self-care daily and I can’t do it for myself?
False. I still am.
Self-care comes in many forms, and the forms of self-care we need changes as our needs change. My needs changed…and that‘s okay.
I gave myself grace and did what I needed to do to feel like myself again. Isn’t THAT the point of self-care anyway? To re-calibrate you? To help you be your best self? My form of self-care had become a to-do list that I did out of a sense of duty rather than desire. That’s one of those things people hate in relationships, right? When someone does something for you because they feel like they have to, not because they want to?
Funny, it feels the same way in the relationship you have with yourself.
My form of self-care was no longer feeling like self-care, so I had to adjust.
I’m still working out, but maybe not everyday.
I’m still eating right, but maybe not all day.
But I’m writing more. I’m reading books outside of the realm of self-help and business development. (The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas is riveting, by the way.) I’m more present in the moment rather than worrying about checking off everything on my list.
I’m more relaxed.
You might think I’m lazy. You might think that this whole “be gentle with yourself…honor the space you’re in” stuff is just a pretty way to disguise my excuses. Hey, you might even be right!
But focusing on what is right or wrong doesn’t always translate to what makes you happy.
And I deserve happy.